BigJoe

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present...........

Big Joe

I am so in need of a Big Joe moment right about now. Filled to the top with reserves waiting on the side.



This is the exact face I make when that deliciously sinful liquid hits my mouth.
(Whoa, that was bordering on the rated R side of things)

Work is crazy today, the people are crazy today, and I'm about to slap all these fools. Did I mention receiving a phone call that ALL parents dread?
SCHOOL VOICEMAIL: MS _____, THIS IS MR _____, FROM YOUR CHILD'S SCHOOL. WE ARE CALLING IN REGARDS TO THEIR ABSENCE TODAY. COULD YOU PLEASE RETURN OUR CALL @ 888-8888.
ME (MS ____), THINKING IN MY HEAD: WTF? HE'S IN SCHOOL. I DROPPED HIM OFF THIS MORNING!!
ME (MS ____): DIALING 888-8888............BUSY SIGNAL
ME (MS ____): WTF??!! DIALING 888-8888...........BUSY SIGNAL
ME (MS ____): OH HELL NO!! WTFMF??!! DIALING 888-8888.........
SCHOOL: HELLO MS ____, WE WERE CALLING.......
ME (MS ____), CUTTING OFF THE POOR FOOL THAT ANSWERED THE PHONE: MY SON IS IN SCHOOL TODAY! I DROPPED HIM OFF MYSELF! WHAT'S GOING ON??
SCHOOL: OH, UM, OH......DID YOU DROP HIM OFF LATE?
ME (MS ____): NNNNNOOOOOO!!!
SCHOOL: OH, UM, OK. LET ME CALL YOU BACK.
ME (MS ____): YEAH, OK.
**WAITING FOR 2 MINUTES CURSING AND GROWING RED IN THE FACE AND SWEATING**
SCHOOL, CALLING BACK: OH, I'M SORRY MS ___, YOU'RE RIGHT. HE'S IN SCHOOL. FOR SOME REASON HE WAS MARKED ABSENT. WE'RE SORRY.
ME (MS ___): BREATHING VERY HEAVILY TO TRY AND CALM MYSELF. AND BREATHING AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
ME (MS ____): OKAY. THANK YOU. GOODBYE.

What else do you say? Thanks for giving me a heart attack for no reason? Thanks for making me dial 911 on the other line? Geez.
But, @ least he IS there, where he should be, safe.

Now can I please have some wine?!!
XoXo